I’m sitting here on Mother’s Day, working and fulfilling the role of father and (when necessary) mother as usual. And as usual, I mull over the decisions that I made that burdened my children with the “mother” that they saw yesterday, but not today on Mother’s day, the ever-useless Succubus.
This bi-weekly installment featured an uncertain expectation of her picking the kids up yesterday. As in we hadn’t agreed on anything, as she didn’t say anything 2 weeks ago about Saturday, and I refrained as well. but show she did, which set my Mother’s Day plans in motion. I told her I wouldn’t be picking the kids up the second I got off work, as I was going to see my mother instead. This is because today, for Mother’s Day, she let slip her idiot boyfriend is coming to town to take her out to celebrate how good of a “mother” she is. I had previously assumed it was because she, and her sister (who also lost custody of her child), and her insipid mother (who is 0 for 4 on successful, well-adjusted children, and 1 for 4 (as far as I know) on children who have not been incarcerated), would be going out celebrating their role in shaping children. But no, she chooses cock over kids any day.
Oh, and here’s the punchline; the note she left me yesterday when she showed up to pick up the kids:
Patrick (Do this Monday) Can we please do shared parenting with no child support? I need the money from work. Also, can you please do this for me I am trying to save money for a car and I can’t when all my money is going to child support. [Succubus]
Okay, let me respond. First, shared parenting? That would require actually being a parent rather than visiting when you feel like it and not flaking out because your mood suits. Second, the real reason is that she just doesn’t want to pay child support. As for “all” her money going to child support, 1. she’s the one who let it get behind a year by not being able to find/retain a job, and 2. the total per month is $300.
The best part of this year as it relates to the Succubus, is that William came home with a packet for Mothers day. It was addressed to his grandmother. It will end up with my mother, of course.
As for my mother, she’s spending the day with her remaining sister and her mother, doing some flower planting. My sister and I (as my other (little) sister is off in Illinois) took our mother out last night, got her a hanging plant (pic to the right), as well as a little shopping for paint and outlet covers for the bathroom. This is because she’s looking to move from our childhood home (35 years this year) in the wake of my father’s death. So a good (childless) time was had by all. And the family dynamic slowly shifts there, so it’s becoming much more interesting.
The fact is, as the times move on, My sister and I feel less like children and more as caretakers of our mother. And not in the “fucking got to take care of the old bitch” kind of way. It’s more of an honor to be called to serve someone who spent a few decades rearing us and helping us along. It might be one of the greatest tragedies that this is something that is less a constant in our culture, as people tend to move all over the country, and make taking care of family (except children) less of a priority.
As I said, it’s an honor.