SOTU and Response Preview with No Point (Just Like the Speeches)

I’m looking at capping tonight off by listening to utter bullshit being shoveled out.  Because it’s time for President 0bama (that’s with the number 0) to give his State of the Union Re-Elect Me, I Don’t Suck speech again followed the the Bullshit GOP Talking Points response, and the (dead) Tea Party response.  So here’s the real previews:

Sucking Off the Union Speech

First, 0bama will blame bush for the last 3 years, as he has only been president that long.  And he will ignore all the shit that he did accomplish in the first two years as a result, because the Republican control the House.

He’ll also blame Mitt Romney for not paying enough taxes to fill in the budget deficit, since Romney has released his 500-page (WTFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!) tax return showing that, unlike the average 0bama apointee, he’s fully complied with the unholy tax code.

He will move on to Warren Buffet, who is getting something out of being an 0bama pawn, since nobody who knows how to make that much money says such stupid shit.  As this line will be predicated on an utter falsehood that relies on the ignorance of the average 0bama voter, the retards will lap it up.

Then he’ll leap into how we can solve the problem this country faces (out of control spending and government tinkering) by… MORE GOVERNMENT!  In other words, if one stimulus doesn’t work, maybe a bigger one will.

Oh, and he’ll propose some other big project, like light rail, clean energy.  And all this leads up to something he has NEVER FOCUSED ON BEFORE: JOBS!!!! (I forget, are we up to 2 dozen times he’s trotted that bullshit line out yet?)

In the end, the state of our union is so precarious that the only thing you can possibly do is to re-elect 0bama.  Then repeal the 22nd amendment so we can re-elect Dear Ruler in perpetuity.

Because Barry loves us this we know,  ’cause his prompter tells him so.

The Group Ogling Progressives blather

Out will trot Mitch Daniels, who hasn’t quit mid-race because he had the sense not go get into the current clusterfuck of a primary, and who isn’t a Washington bitch yet, to deliver the usual crap of the establishment.

The watchword will be Obamacare.  This is because this is where the GOP, after an 8-year spending orgy, finally drew a line in the sand after they didn’t have the power to do a fucking thing.

From there, they’ll go to the usual:  mumble mumble lower taxes (but no real change), mumble mumble smaller government (with new programs), mumble mumble pro-life (because otherwise they won’t vote for us).

And then it’ll end, the anal-ists will talk about 0bama’s speech, and Mitch Daniels will have paid his due so he can run when it’s “his turn.”

The TEA Party’s Attempt at Continued Relevance

Then we get to Herman Cain, who did bail out of the race after some conveniently timed allegations from women from the one period in his life he was working in Washington.  He gets to explain how the fiscal conservative movement (who is surging for the big-government Gingrich now) is still relevant and how they would deal with the mess that 0bama has made.

He’ll go on about the continued intervention of the government in the economy (like TARP, which he supported).

We’ll hear about tax policy (drinking game begins if he brings up 9-9-9).  We’ll hear about the massive burden of regulations (I’m sure there’s some hypocrisy, just can’t think of it).

And then he’ll drop some nugget about social issues, and the libertarians will walk away and jerk off to a picture of Ron Paul (not really, but that would include me, so I had to include the imagery).

If the Occupiers Spoke

[insert incoherent rant about the corporations, maaaaaaaan.]

As if I have to say anything about the ass-shit remnants of this movement.

My Expletive-Dependent response

The Constitutional function that underlies the SOTU was a yearly report to Congress.  In the past, a President (Jefferson for example) could just submit a written report and not go through the circle jerk session.  in the Television era, that humility went right the fuck out the window as did cogent discussion.  Instead, we’re subjected to a dedicated bully pulpit event that, in an election year, turns into a free televised election stump speech.  Pretty soon, all the remaining candidates running in that year will be dropping their responses on the Internet for us to vomit to.

In the end, we  really don’t learn shit about anybody or anything other than how good they can read a teleprompter (insert requisite 0bama TOTUS joke). On the plus, at least we have viewing options on cable, TIVO, and the Internet.  Because at least with DVDA porn, at least you can enjoy all the fucking.


About patrickmspeaks

Father, tech-head, political sage, and the Illustrious One of (little) 3x2 fame, I have been blogging for a few years now, and want to stretch in new directions, discover new things, and redefine redefining just for the fun of it. Nonetheless, having produced a pointless paragraph about me, I'll stop before something bursts.
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