I really hate to have to write this post, because it mans admitting defeat to some extent. But having followed the primaries and seen the results and trends so far, my political realism has now kicked in. And my conclusion is that the GOP could do worse than Romney, and at this point, probably can’t do better. To explain, let’s look at the candidates and where they’re headed.
We’ll start with Ron Paul, who will still be getting my vote when the primary hits Ohio. I support him mainly on domestic policy. And why the fuck everyone who calls themselves conservative doesn’t is mystifying to me. Really. Nevada is strong with libertarian-leaning conservatives, and he still came in third there. His strategy was to pull enough delegates to have a seat at the convention. It’s still possible, but he’s fallen short of expectations pretty much everywhere, despite better numbers than 2008. And with far too many people dismissing him out of hand while still salivating over or slamming other candidates, I don’t see him being close enough to challenge the establishment. So while he has the money and infrastructure to run all the way to the convention, and maybe influence it in the right direction, he’s effectively out.
Newt Gingrich has (inexplicably) been the anti-Romney and “conservative” choice (if I had added the proper amount of quotes, it would have made this paragraph unreadable). Newt is in this for Newt. To make Newt the immortal ruler of the United States of Newt, where he can apply Newtian law and see what the fuck happens. That he’s used conservatism as his platform to extend Newt into the political process is largely irrrelevant, because as President, he’d have the freedom to do whatever the fuck he wants. In that, he’s actually the scariest of the candidates. I think he’d like to claim the mantle of “the next Reagan” mainly because it will lead to him becoming an icon. Maybe a life-sized golden statue of him riding a golden calf (at which point we’ll hope for Chuck Heston to return from the dead and toss some commandments at that motherfucker). Thankfully, his piles of bullshit are slowing him down enough that he hasn’t made headway against Romney since South Carolina. And his money, unlike Romney and Paul, is tight. His organization is even worse. So he’s going to do what Newt does over enough time and bury himself, or at least divide the non-Romney vote long enough to put Romney in there.
Rick Santorum. Not going to spend a lot of time on the frothy mixture of conservatism and theocracy. Probably more of a conservative than Newt, but has tried to differentiate himself by being the person that brings up social issues. And this is suicide in the general election. And at some point, it will become suicide either in the GOP or FOR the GOP. And while he is coming from behind to be the next non-Romney, his organization and money is worse than the Gingrich nightmare. So hopefully he’ll self-destruct sooner rather than later. Or maybe I’ll try to find him if he makes it to Ohio. Although I’ll probably get in trouble, since he’s bound to say something that’ll compel me to slap the taste right out his mouth. Yeah.
That leaves us with Mitt Romney, who has won most of the votes, has the money, is the chosen dolt of the establishment pukes. Here’s where I explain why he’s the “best” choice for the GOP. First, he’s not an egomaniac or theocrat or nutcase. He’s a manager. He’s the least offensive candidate to all wings of the GOP. And since he’s milquetoast (like the idiot fuck McCain before him), he’s exactly what the GOP deserves. But he’s also displayed one quality that isn’t the worst thing considering the options: he has a Clinton-esque malleability. In other words, the Tea party can stay independednt because they didn’t support him, and push him to the right. And if we can elect decent people to Congress, then we can start pushing an agenda of limited government and he’s likely to be sold enough to follow it.
In short, a Romney nomination is similar to the Madonna Super Bowl Halftime Show: It’s shiny, well-choreographed act that, while sucking to some degree, incorporates some familiar and good things. And most importantly, we could have done worse.