For those of you wholly oblivious to anything that doesn’t show up in this blog (why are you not following me on either Twitter or the thrice-damned Facebook, or even the exploits of the 3x2cast?), I was on vacation last weekend. This will be a little long, so if you’re not up to reading at the mo (or at all), just scroll down for the media:
I worked until about 1:30 last Friday, then left on a trip down to Hampton, VA to spend a few glorious days hanging with my hetero-life-mate Lars and his (definitely) better half, Hope. For those of you not familiar with them, there will be opportunity to discover the rest of the 3×2 team below. Be afraid.
So I get on the road Friday. I haul ass through Dayton, then Chillicothe, OH, where I have a convo with my sis just as I’m passing by US Route 50 West. This is significant, because this road leads to Vinton County, where my father and I hunted many times before the kids came along, and before he died. Kind of wish I had packed some ashes, because I would have detoured on the way back to do some sprinkling. Acceptable misty-eye moment.
Then I crossed into West Virginia for the first time since 1997 (school trip to DC). To save the $4 in tolls, I hit the back roads, where I got my first speeding ticket in years ($150), then proceeded to a one-lane county road winding through mountains. Somehow I didn’t drive off the road, run out of gas, or piss myself (not in fear, but due to a full bladder).
I arrived in Virginia at 9pm, and got across the state by 1am. Needless to say, I didn’t stop for food (I had jerkey and nuts), so we proceeded to the Waffle House for some late-night foodage.
Saturday, after scraping myself up and getting coffee, we hit a place called Vinnie’s for some pizza, and as an appetizer, fried pickles. Most excellent. After that, we made a trip to Lowes to get some stain for a microwave cart that they bought to hold the printer I brought down (along with a carload full of shit that Lars had left in my garage). That was where the idea first germinated for the “Worst Vacation Ever” video you’ll find down below.
Then we went to a company function for Lars’ employer. If there was a meh to the trip, this was it, although it was fun. Did indoor kickball, ate food, shot some vid when we weren’t playing. Now what I should have done was try to sell the owners on the merits of moving out of the Virginia Beach area to the quiet awesomeness of Ohio (don’t laugh so hard, you sadistic pukes!).
So then we went back, and, like most weekends, recorded the podcast. Just a note for those of you who don’t listen but do read my posts: My posts are almost G-rated compared to the 3x2cast. Click here for that in all it’s glory. Or gory, whichever you prefer. We got liquored up a bit to record this one, and it was the first time we had all gathered together to record, so it was downright cock-tastic.
So Sunday, after a trip to Starbucks to deal with their douche language for coffee sizes for some good coffee, was a lot of sitting around, editing said podcast and updating some of the site, planning the cat butt vid, and preparing to do some gaming. We eventually got around to gaming after grabbing some food. Gaming was as fun as it can be when you spend one session in an RPG you’re unfamiliar with playing another person’s character. So after that, we went home for some quiet. We did crank out the Disney Death Metal promo to include with the still-unfinished podcast.
I will include the Disney Death metal promo for your listening pleasure though, since it’s not particularly offensive:
So we get to Monday, where we go out for breakfast instead of me running for morning coffee. We come back, slap up that porno-podcast-y goodness, then head to lunch. And as in the vid below, we eat at a Subway in a hospital so Lars and Hope can socialize a bit. The down side is that prior to lunch, Hope’s brother’s girlfriend got in a car accident up in Philly. That was a downer on most of the day, waiting for news (she survived with serious injuries). So after lunch, after a quick trip back to the apartment, we headed out to Virginia Beach so I could see the Atlantic Ocean. We didn’t stay too long because it was hot and there was a fair number of people, and lots of sand between us and an assload of water. Plus, we had to record a few videos for viewing mostly sarcastic and obscene ones. Lars has still not dicked with them a week later, so they’re not getting posted. May update this post later with them. We then returned home to shoot the CAT BUTT – Official Trailer. Lugging a professional camera around the ass end of cats is a challenge. Here’s the result:
Yeah, we go for the cheap jokes. So we proceeded to a late supper of Indian food. I know what I had was lamb, but I’m not going to even attempt to type what I can’t even pronounce (I think it had something to do with Seth Rogen, or maybe a long-lost brother of his). I just know that it was a new version of awesomesauce. When I get some free time, I’m going to learn to cook some of that shit. I could eat it every damned day, until I’m pissing curry like a bitch.
So I got to Tuesday. Got an early start since Lars was off to work. Grabbed coffee, still-warm Krispy Kreme donuts (OMFFSM TONGUE-GASM!!!11!!), and hit the road. Took my time a bit more, rocking what radio I could find, nearly visiting Monticello (the tourist mess halfway up the hill made it a sightless drive-by). I didn’t repeat my ass-end drive through West Virginia this time, but then drove a little too far out of my way for lunch, and ended up backtracking for 25 miles, most of it along the south side of the Ohio river. From there, it was only a stop in Columbus for a wireless keyboard, and a stop back in New Bremen for eggs, etc. for the morning before I arrived home. Conveniently, the Succubus ran her phone out of minutes, so I didn’t get the kids back until the next day, giving me time to fire the A/C, strip down, and upgrade my computers.
So a good time was had by all, I tried a lot of places that I hadn’t eaten before, and decided to make a video that was the opposite of my experience in Virginia. So to end this post, I leave you with the technically factual but wholly inaccurate video entitled “Worst Vacation Ever!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!1!!! !”: