A Halloween Post Mostly Not About Halloween

So I woke up this morning with the news that, due to inclement weather tonight, trick or treating has been moved from HALLOWEEN NIGHT ITSELF to the coming Saturday.


And by wonderful, I mean complete bullshit.  Because, not only do I not get to take the kids out on actual Halloween night (vs the most convenient Tuesday/Thursday before), but they will be in the loving arms of their dear mother the Succubus come Saturday. Which means, after finally shelling out cash for costumes, I get to sit at home alone and debate whether or not to hand out candy or just be a grumpy old bastard. And if trick or treat night doesn’t get moved where their mother lives, they get screwed out of the whole trick or treat thing this year.

Fucking fuck.

It doesn’t help that my weekend starts at the usual weekday time this weekend due to having to work at 7-too-fucking-early-in-the-morning-AM (for the first time in so long I can’t remember the last time). In fact, there goes that nice hour of daylight savings sleep down the drain.

Shitty shitty shitcocks.

So I got up this morning with a headache. Damn piss assnuts.


In my post a couple weeks ago (where I returned to active blogosphere duty), I talked about my new (permanent) diet. Well, last night, I had nothing loaded with the wheat gluten. And today’s headache is not really registering.  I can feel it, I know I have it, but it’s not impacting me much at all (I may need to lie down for an hour later, maybe).  This is in contrast to 12 hours of laying with something over my eyes and drifting in and out and not getting shit done.  I don’t have the root cause of the headaches figured out yet, but since the last two headaches were preceded by a yummy dose of wheat gluten and were worse than this (but not as bad as before), this means at least I can function.  O happy day.

(On a complete side note, I did by my first box of gluten-free pasta the other day. Then, in my fridge, I found the last item I bought from the same brand name. It was a box of wheat gluten. Ho-lee-shite.)

199.2And speaking of happy days, I got my ass out of the shower this morning and stepped on the scale.  Now my scale is shitty, and tends to not always read accurately.  But when you are tracking your weight and you can see the numbers continue to drop, you know that the scale isn’t 100% loopy. Today, for the first time in years (having seen a fully dressed weight of 216 pounds that started me on this), I stepped on and got the naked weight number you see to the right (199.2, in case it’s blurry). And on the real plus, I had to hold the camera at dick level, so I don’t have to cup my nuts out of the shot (just out of the way of the phone, so my junk isn’t on the touch screen, since I don’t want to accidentally pocket dial someone with my balls).

Breakfast of non-fat fucksSo to celebrate, I eat what I’ve been having for breakfast regularly since i changed my eating habits. That to the left (since my phone likes to be blurry) is a plate of home fries, scrambled eggs, salsa, cheese, and sour cream. I’m so glad I went this way and not on the “diet” route.

Now, onto the gourmet cheesecake that’s sitting in the fridge….

About patrickmspeaks

Father, tech-head, political sage, and the Illustrious One of (little) 3x2 fame, I have been blogging for a few years now, and want to stretch in new directions, discover new things, and redefine redefining just for the fun of it. Nonetheless, having produced a pointless paragraph about me, I'll stop before something bursts.
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