It Sucks When Your Candidate Loses, But…

Before I get into the meat of this post, I will pass on a few condolences to Hillary supporters. You fought hard, and you got kicked in the nuts on election night. It sucks to see your hopes for the next four years smashed into a wall, and the person you see only as the embodiment of evil incarnate based on all the ads will be the ugly fucking mug that will pop up on an almost daily basis on your screen as you hit the political news. I do sympathize with how you feel, because I’ve been there many times myself (Obama in 2008, and many smaller races), and will be there a lot more, as I am a libertarian.

So I will offer a few words: Keep fighting for what you believe in. Armchair quarterback the whole situation and pick a better candidate next time (because Hillary did suck, really). And realize that the POTUS doesn’t have supreme power over your universe, and even with Congress and the Supreme Court there are still limitations.

Now, if you’re still feeling as though you’re no longer safe in trump’s America, and that you need time off and support and counseling and safe spaces and shit….

Suck it up you whiny fucking pussy!

Now, if you think I’m just a gloating trumptard for saying this, you’d be wrong as the folder on trump’s computer where he keeps his daughter’s nude pics (no evidence this exists, but…). I can give you a list of all the horrible things I expect from the pussy grabber in chief. But there is always hope (unless you’re a libertarian, or my buddy who knows how Hope can crush a man). Here’s my list of why you shouldn’t be a fucking whiny little fucking pussy baby sissy pansy fuck snowflake:

  1. As above, the POTUS and the imperial federal government is not the master of your universe. Ideally the feds should be almost totally not affecting your life. And if you go out and do what you want to do with your life, pursue it with passion and energy, then you’re likely to find success. As for what the feds can do, work to elect people who don’t want to micromanage your life.
  2. Most of the trump/Pence voters did not vote for white supremacy, racism, sexism, misogyny, hate, homophobia, the patriarchy, etc. They voted for change from the status quo, and to tell Washington to go fuck itself. It’s the part of the trump platform I can agree with, and could even get behind if the messenger wasn’t a microdicked asshat. Consequently, most of the trump voters are not  people interested in increasing your oppression. Again, take off your political blinders and look at what is coming from the presidential transition team, post-election statements, etc, decide what needs fought, what is not so terrible, and what is dropped form discussion. After all….
  3. We don’t really know how president Jizzface McAssmaster (sounds better than saying trump again) will actually govern. My concern is that he will behave like a Putin-lite style tyrant. But I suspect he will moderate on some things, go back to his more democrat-leaning self in other places, and have a few things where he and the GOP go whole hog trying to ram their agenda down our collective throat. But it’s not likely that trump is going to order all the Muslims rounded up and put in happy reeducation camps run by Jerry Falwell Jr, have all the Mexicans deported by catapult over the Rio Grande and his shiny new wall, decree all pussy in the USA made available for grabbing and/or boning, order cops to just shoot all black criminals because “black criminal” is redundant, blow Putin and bomb China, and put Mike Pence in charge of electrocuting every gay back to straight. Because limited government, yo. Also, all that combined wouldn’t help him popularity numbers, which I’m sure the narcissistic prick wants to see rising.
  4. Even if he’s going full-evil, you have over 2 months to get ready and decide if Canada or Mexico is the right place for you. After all, there’s a bunch of celebrities who are definitely moving. Like my bowels. In other words, they were full of shit and it’s coming out.

So get out of the fetal position. Life goes on. Live for the now, plan for the future, and remember that we get to fight over this shit again in 2 years. And no matter who wins, I’ll probably lose. Libertarian forever!


About patrickmspeaks

Father, tech-head, political sage, and the Illustrious One of (little) 3x2 fame, I have been blogging for a few years now, and want to stretch in new directions, discover new things, and redefine redefining just for the fun of it. Nonetheless, having produced a pointless paragraph about me, I'll stop before something bursts.
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3 Responses to It Sucks When Your Candidate Loses, But…

  1. jerrycritter says:

    On the up side, he probably will supply a lot of new material for late night comedians.

  2. Don’t forget assholes who like to make jokes about him in their blogs.

    Because I know when to be serious, and when to grab the bull by the pussy.

    …wait, um….

  3. jerrycritter says:


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