Waiting for Amazon

(Requisite disclaimer, because the Internet: this is not a paid endorsement of Amazon. I sure as hell wish it was because money.)

This last Christmas season was hectic as all shit. I’ve already documented the bullshit of coughing up a lung every day for a month, so I’ll leave that alone. But it did mean that I forgot to do my shopping early, which is essential to not rushing around at the last second.

And with the exception of an order I put in way too late to get by Christmas (my fault), almost all the online ordering I did was on Amazon.com.

Timeliness is everything, and even things I had a post-Christmas arrival date on came before Christmas.

Some of the things that came in under the wire included:

A matching birthstone earring and necklace set for my daughter (jewelry always seems to be tricky to get).

An Ohio State University sweatshirt (everywhere local was sold out and I ordered it Wednesday. It arrived Friday, and I needed it for a gift exchange).

A plush Appa the flying bison, from the TV series Avatar: the Last Airbender (which I saw on Amazon Prime recently. It’s a must-see. And don’t mistake it for the movie Avatar (aka Dances with Smurfs) or the M Night Shyamalan movie based on the series (which is ass on ass on ass). Seriously, make time to watch it, it’s that good.).

It also helped that I was getting bonus cash on the credit card for doing my shopping at Amazon.


One thing I’ve kind of wanted for a while is footie pajamas. A big fucking onesie I can squeeze my ass into and be comfy when shit gets cold (the last week up to today). So, after a few days of shivering, I ordered one. And some Magic the Gathering card boxes. Those are due today.

In fact, it went out for delivery at 9:10am with the USPS. I keep checking the front door between calls and other bodily functions (for color, I’ll just say two words and let you imagine what would cause me to drop 4 immodium tablets so far today: Steak Soup).

Yes, I am the master of TMI. Shit happens.

Literally, in this case.

So now, I wait, with post page open, so I can share as the fuzzy onesie goodness as it caresses my parts, as soon as the damned package gets here.

*******Sometime later*******


Yeah, I’m in a onesie, and it feels so good.


About patrickmspeaks

Father, tech-head, political sage, and the Illustrious One of (little) 3x2 fame, I have been blogging for a few years now, and want to stretch in new directions, discover new things, and redefine redefining just for the fun of it. Nonetheless, having produced a pointless paragraph about me, I'll stop before something bursts.
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