About The Illustrious One

(note, this page is in progress, as this blog is not yet live)

As you might have guessed from the title, I have an ego that surpasses all other things.  Call it compensation.  Yeah, my ego can handle self-deprecating cracks about my junk.  So let’s begin the foray into me (left), starting with…

Why I write:

I have been writing and creating things in various forms since I was cracking dick and fart humor back in the days of Hell Catholic school (8 fucking years!).  This, my sense of the perverse was born, along with a creative outlet I hadn’t had (as repression and conformity are what a Catholic education is all about). Four years of high school followed, with many of the people that fucked with me in grade school fucking with me in high school.  Thus I discovered death poetry, and cheesy rhyming.  And I started ironing out stories.  Of the kind that involved school shootings, the dangers of succubi, and aliens that eat pancreas from the living.

College provided more time to refine and learn how shitty my writing was.  I got better, writing various things.  After that, a story about a guy reciting poetry and scoring with a redhead in a coffee shop (as of yet unpublished) kicked off a new world.  Previously, I had only had worlds existing in my head.  And from there, the creative writing continued to ebb and flow for years.  I almost have a book ready for publishing, but then came the Succubus (more in a minute) and the kids.

I started my blogging life October 30, 2007 with the political blog Sane Political Discourse.  I expanded to up to 3 blogs at one point, but have forsaken them all for this blog, and the fun over with my hetero life-mate over on 3×2.  For the full blog history and links, click here.

What I do when not fucking around:

I have, since high school, been mostly working in service  and retail jobs (fast food, retail).  I’ve spend more time at various employment at RadioShack than any other.  Damn, I’m geeky.  After a disastrous year trying to get into factory work (a career I’m wholly unsuited for), I ended doing Internet tech support (coming up on four years).  Which is probably good, since I have been working with computers since they came out with the personal computer.  Apple II plus, baby!  So I’ll occasionally share my tidbits of wisdom on tech subjects, although [disclaimer] I make no claim to be an expert and you take any of my excellent advice at your own risk.  But if you’re taking my advice, you’ve probably already fucked up something, so no loss.

Lauren and William. Damn, they're goofy.

A few words on the Succubus:

I have had a few serious relationships in my life.  The one that changed me the most was the one that gave me a couple cute kids and sent my life into a hellish little spiral.  As I really don’t want to dwell on the past (hint: with visitation and child support, Tales of the Succubus is a category on this blog), I’m going to let that story play out in various posts.  Suffice it to say, she got the boot after several years of lies, selfishness, and domestic violence (convicted).  She also lost custody of her children to me thanks to chidren’s services.  And she appears hellbent on repeating those choices from what I’ve seen and heard.  I will be keeping her and her family as anonymous as possible, as my goal is to share stories from my point of view to entertain, not engender anger at her dumb ass.

On the plus, she did give me some cute-ass kids.

And now for the family:

I was born and raised in the rural reaches of Ohio, where I currently reside with my two darling and sadistic children, who love to torment me to no end.

As you can tell, Lauren (left) is hamming it up for the camera and willing to get in a cute contest with anybody living or dead (or both).  She has more personality than is good for the sane.  I also suspect she’ll have to guest post as soon as she learns how to spell.  You’re boned.

Her counterpoint (and older brother) William is fairly oblivious, surfing the Autism spectrum.  Doesn’t mean I don’t yell at him when he’s doing stupid shit. On the plus, he’s inherited my ability to make electronics and computers work by touching them.  At least he hasn’t figured out how to hack passwords. Yet.

As a pair, damn.  Just damn.

So if you’re wondering why the posts are so diverse and  messed up, now you know.

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