It Sucks When Your Candidate Loses, But…

Before I get into the meat of this post, I will pass on a few condolences to Hillary supporters. You fought hard, and you got kicked in the nuts on election night. It sucks to see your hopes for the next four years smashed into a wall, and the person you see only as the embodiment of evil incarnate based on all the ads will be the ugly fucking mug that will pop up on an almost daily basis on your screen as you hit the political news. I do sympathize with how you feel, because I’ve been there many times myself (Obama in 2008, and many smaller races), and will be there a lot more, as I am a libertarian.

So I will offer a few words: Keep fighting for what you believe in. Armchair quarterback the whole situation and pick a better candidate next time (because Hillary did suck, really). And realize that the POTUS doesn’t have supreme power over your universe, and even with Congress and the Supreme Court there are still limitations.

Now, if you’re still feeling as though you’re no longer safe in trump’s America, and that you need time off and support and counseling and safe spaces and shit….

Suck it up you whiny fucking pussy!

Now, if you think I’m just a gloating trumptard for saying this, you’d be wrong as the folder on trump’s computer where he keeps his daughter’s nude pics (no evidence this exists, but…). I can give you a list of all the horrible things I expect from the pussy grabber in chief. But there is always hope (unless you’re a libertarian, or my buddy who knows how Hope can crush a man). Here’s my list of why you shouldn’t be a fucking whiny little fucking pussy baby sissy pansy fuck snowflake:

  1. As above, the POTUS and the imperial federal government is not the master of your universe. Ideally the feds should be almost totally not affecting your life. And if you go out and do what you want to do with your life, pursue it with passion and energy, then you’re likely to find success. As for what the feds can do, work to elect people who don’t want to micromanage your life.
  2. Most of the trump/Pence voters did not vote for white supremacy, racism, sexism, misogyny, hate, homophobia, the patriarchy, etc. They voted for change from the status quo, and to tell Washington to go fuck itself. It’s the part of the trump platform I can agree with, and could even get behind if the messenger wasn’t a microdicked asshat. Consequently, most of the trump voters are not  people interested in increasing your oppression. Again, take off your political blinders and look at what is coming from the presidential transition team, post-election statements, etc, decide what needs fought, what is not so terrible, and what is dropped form discussion. After all….
  3. We don’t really know how president Jizzface McAssmaster (sounds better than saying trump again) will actually govern. My concern is that he will behave like a Putin-lite style tyrant. But I suspect he will moderate on some things, go back to his more democrat-leaning self in other places, and have a few things where he and the GOP go whole hog trying to ram their agenda down our collective throat. But it’s not likely that trump is going to order all the Muslims rounded up and put in happy reeducation camps run by Jerry Falwell Jr, have all the Mexicans deported by catapult over the Rio Grande and his shiny new wall, decree all pussy in the USA made available for grabbing and/or boning, order cops to just shoot all black criminals because “black criminal” is redundant, blow Putin and bomb China, and put Mike Pence in charge of electrocuting every gay back to straight. Because limited government, yo. Also, all that combined wouldn’t help him popularity numbers, which I’m sure the narcissistic prick wants to see rising.
  4. Even if he’s going full-evil, you have over 2 months to get ready and decide if Canada or Mexico is the right place for you. After all, there’s a bunch of celebrities who are definitely moving. Like my bowels. In other words, they were full of shit and it’s coming out.

So get out of the fetal position. Life goes on. Live for the now, plan for the future, and remember that we get to fight over this shit again in 2 years. And no matter who wins, I’ll probably lose. Libertarian forever!

Posted in Politics | 3 Comments

Still, F*ck Trump

First of all, let me reiterate that I’m a Libertarian, and that I voted as such (as in everyone I voted for (except one candidate running unopposed) lost. The bullshit of election day was not my fault, because I didn’t vote for evil; 96% of the electorate did though. And I won’t be congratulating the President-elect, because fuck trump. I have been clear at every mention of him the kind of person we’re dealing with. I can take my disgust with him back to my early Twitter days, where I’m pretty certain a nasty tweet to Hannity got me blocked back in 2013 or 2014. And that tweet was about legitimizing a blithering idiot by the name of trump by having his idiotic ass on the show.

Now, having said that, let’s get to eating the shit (best advice: bite, chew, swallow, repeat) and look at why America chose a celebreality clown over easily one of the most corrupt Democrat candidates of my lifetime.

1. Damn, Hillary sucked – A good chunk of the blame goes to the DNC and Hillary Clinton for this. Not that I expect much, but the race might have been more interesting if the Dems had not actively worked to cut out Bernie Sanders. I don’t agree with him on much, but one point where he and I (and a certain dickhole-elect) agree to some point is that Washington and crony business are inbreeding, and should be burned with fire. Sanders drew the completely wrong conclusion from the same realization, but at least he would have been an interesting and honorable candidate. Of course, he shat on that when he hopped on the Hillary train.

Which brings us the the unlikable half of the Clinton team, Hillary. She is the very definition of Washington establishment (more on that in a bit). She and Bill have been dodging scandals nationally since 1992, with only a small break between the end of Bill’s presidency and her Senate race. So add all that up and you have a candidate that no one could be enthusiastic about, except to argue that she would be better than trump (an argument not without merit).

Still, people should be voting for a candidate, not for the lesser of two evils. If you’re going to vote evil, vote Cthulhu. And with a platform of “4 more years of 0bama, except with no charisma and more vagina,” it’s no wonder she underperformed everywhere.

2. The Milquetoast GOP – I started my conversion to libertarian back in 2008, when Bush, McCain, and the GOP abandoned any pretense of conservative economic policy, and joined with 0bama and the Dems to start bailing shit out. Also, there was the redistributionist tax cuts, which was the culmination of the GOP’s ditching of reform that they essentially gave up after 9/11 in favor of growing the government like hyperactive ball cancer. I vowed never to hold my nose again after my McCain vote, and voted in the primaries for Ron Paul 4 years later, and for Gary Johnson that fall.

The fact is that the GOP establishment is equally to blame for the ungodly growth of government into much of our lives, so much so that in some categories (war, the surveillance state, social programs), the difference is a matter of degree, not a fundamental and principled difference.

So when the unlikely joke of a candidacy that was the trump machine came along, we got the establishment’s best milquetoast (Rubio, another fucking Bush), the libertarian-ish option that tried to not be (Rand Paul), and the crazy conservative most people didn’t like (Cruz), among others to challenge him. Not surprisingly in hindsight, they failed, and the lesser of two evils came down to the anti-establishment pussygrabber-elect and the Democrat definition of what people don’t like about government.

3. Fuck Washington, and the Establishment, Right in Its Ear – The fact is, Washington sucks. The only reason we keep returning incumbents in large numbers is because there are only two choices, and they generally both suck. So you go with what you know. But since we don’t have that “luxury” it means that every 8 years, we get to pick a newer and more dictatorial thug who gains power every new presidency.In fact, I don’t remember the last time we got someone who rejected/decreased the power of the presidency (because the last ones of any note might be Calvin Coolidge and/or Ike Eisenhower, and my parents had yet to meet/bone).

The problem is that this has bred more contempt for Washington and its tendency to inbreed with select businesses, fail to legislate its way out of problems caused by prior legislation, and generally suck more and more into its gaping maw. As a result, more and more people want to blow it up to some degree. Sanders supporters were one group. Anyone voting third party are another. And the third group in the “Washington Sucks!” brigade is a sizable portion of the trump supporters. And while their choice of candidate to break the system is sure to backfire (as trump is a megalomaniacal power-loving thug with a penchant for using the government as a bludgeon to serve his interests), the idea was that putting his thuggishness in there would essentially force the GOP and Dem establishment to deal with a non-politician and magically not have 2/3 of the government at their disposal. Again, doubt it will work, but I did take some pleasure in watching the establishment squirm (until trump appeared electable, then ffffffuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkk………).

So if there is one positive to be taken from this debacle of a dumpster fire of an election, it’s that the establishment got grabbed by the pussy (of course) and kicked square in the ass.

4.  Leftist Politics and the Reactionary Right – This one is a little broader category, and can be categorized in many ways. One of the hallmarks of the trump strategy was to appeal to working class white voters that often voted Democrat. This is a part of the Democrat coalition that is not down with the hard-left progressive movement, who are known for pressing lots of social change down the throats of America. Some things, which leads to increased liberty, are things that I, as a Libertarian, can certainly get behind. And I think it was one of these that got me on’s email list.

A second thing is something that has only gotten more ridiculous, being something that I dealt with in college, over 20 years ago (damn, I’m getting old), and that is the groupthink of political correctness, which has gotten increasingly shrill over the years. And I call it groupthink, as it’s a mindset that there is one right opinion on social issues, and that anyone who doesn’t (ironic fucking trigger warning) suck that philosophical dick must be a hatemonger, bigot, racist, homophobe, misogynist, and enabler of the white patriarchy.

This brings me back to the emails, and the whole “United Against Hate” slogan. Their entire argument for Hillary was that trump, and all his supporters, are haters. And I use the term “hater” because it’s an unthinkingly idiotic word that conveys no meaning, except to draw that absolute ideological line. Even when trump vomits out some position that is closer to their stated belief than the crap coming from Hillary (on the state of perpetual war, trump, by his statements is technically better overall (when he’s not promising to bomb the shit out of somebody). The fact is that most people who voted for Trump probably would agree that a lot of his statements and tweets are garbage, and that we need to be more tolerant, more accepting, etc. But when you slap them all in a basket called “Deplorables” you give them ammunition to resist your one-sided attacks.

The fact is that large swathes of people get downright pissed about the immoral moral absolutism that the politically correct left spews out. That, along with the anti-government sentiment, was enough to animate a large voting block. Sure, there are some real pieces of human shit among trump supporters, along the moral equivalent of klansmen. But treating everyone like that just makes them want to beat you down.

Also, it doesn’t help when you want to hold national gettogethers to feel “safe” now that trump is elected (but can’t do shit until January). For fuck’s sake, you lost an election. It’s not the Nazis coming into power (despite any legit comparisons in the mindsets of Hitler and trump). You do a post-mortem, figure out what happened, and get ready to fight for the next two years once the actual legislation and shit comes.

5. The Trump Factor – This is the one that stumped me. I didn’t think the fucker could win. He says outrageous shit, appeals to the nativist tendencies of the GOP base, the Democrat working class voters, and anyone who’s just pissed off. He has no clear understanding of the Constitution based on what he’s said. He does demean women a lot, and pissed off minorities, especially latinos. Yet this wasn’t enough to get them to go running to Hillary.

And this unhinged asshole personality, combined with no set of political philosophies or principles, a slate of campaign promises that are untenable and/or impractical and/or clear flip-flops and/or just batshit insane, plus no political experience at all (outside of crony capitalist deals), and being a godawful businessman (he’s more of a snake oil salesman turned up to 11) is a combination that couldn’t possibly win,

Trump is a celebreality star, a marketer of his own name as a brand, a self-aggrandizing and attention-seeking fuck, and a speaker of divisive statements for the sake of making divisive statements. And people fucking ate this shit up. I really don’t get this. I look at this kind of person and do whatever it takes to boot them out of my sphere of existence. I think that’s why I underestimated what trump could do.

I do have to give him credit here. He has the ability to get people to nod their heads and agree with something. He can then sell himself, and he’s brilliant at it. It’s how he grew his reach and his legend when he wasn’t stealing property and crushing people with government force or bankrupting his businesses many times, or scamming people with an inferior and trumped-up product. And while I wouldn’t give a scumbag like him the time of day, he, like the Kardashians, appeal to large numbers of people, good or bad.

Sometimes, it just takes a charismatic brand saying the right shit to get elected. After all, that’s how we got 0bama.

So this leaves us a couple months before this cancerous mole on the ass of America takes office. I’m never going to like him. I will be watching. Perhaps I’ll be wrong, and he’ll govern as a completely different character than candidate trump. I hope so. Perhaps he’ll work with the GOP by running the tables with their agenda, or he’ll handjob the Democrats and unleash their governing philosophy. Maybe he’ll pick the best positions of both parties, or unleash the worst. Or maybe he’ll get pissed at China, hit the nuke button, and kill most of us off.

The truth is, we don’t know what a president trump will be like. I’ll give him space and time, and we’ll begin to judge him as his cabinet and inner circle take shape. And get ready to hopefully vote his ass out in four years, because still, fuck trump.

Posted in Politics | 2 Comments

Why We Should Welcome Our New Clinton Overlord

Before I begin, this article is not an endorsement of that corrupt bitch, because I’m still supporting Libertarian candidate Gary Johnson, as he is the only decent candidate at this point with a chance to win. But honesty requires that I admit it’s a long shot, which becomes nigh impossible if he can’t make the “debates” organized by the corrupt and self-serving Commission on Presidential Debates. So with that, I’m going to talk about why Hillary will be the “”””””better”””””” choice in the fall.

I think I just threw up in my mouth typing that.

First, I can understand if you believe in perpetuating the last shitty 8-16 years (depending on the issue), then Hillary is your choice. And if you somehow Hillary is a ticket to hardcore progressive-ism, then please share with me what you’re smoking and then vote her in. And if you vote based on whether or not the candidate has a VAGINA!!!!, then trumpet your lobotomy logic and be a part of the VAG VOTE!

(Seriously, if anatomy is how you choose your candidate, you’re a moron either way.)

But the biggest reason to vote for Team Blue’s turd sandwich is that the alternative (served up by Team Red) is the giant douche known as trump (never capitalized because fuck him to, and evermore referred to by a string of expletives).

So with Shitstain Cockmaster as the GOP’s standard bearer, it makes Hillary look absolutely tolerable. To be honest, from what I know of the candidates, and what we learned from the first sham debate, I don’t see much of a difference, except that one candidate (Hillary) is the embodiment with everything wrong with Washington, and the other one (Pisstits Microdick) is a perfect personification of the kind of mentality of an Adolf Hitler, without all the charm. Given these shitty choices, I am compelled to lean toward the abysmal continuation of the horrid Hillary status quo.

This stems from one trait: Predictability. Hillary does have a core set of beliefs. They’re repulsive, and she tends to ignore them any time they get in the way of her political success, but at least the Hillary we get for the next four years is the same creep who scared people back in 1991 until they stuck a headband on her and let her attack Bills mistresses, and then again when she wanted to destroy healthcare (can I get a “THANKS OBAMA!”? If we’re lucky, we’ll get for more years of a Bill Clinton presidency, just without the charisma. At worst, the GOP will self-destruct trying to stop her.

With Fizzpiss McAssnuts, I have no fucking idea what will happen, except that letting a megalomaniacal crony capitalist thug who wouldn’t know the Constitution if you taped it to his next trophy wife anywhere near the oval office can only end badly. Especially since you won’t have a GOP united to stop his statist tendencies, and some democrats who will let him succeed strategically to wipe the GOP from the electoral landscape in 4 years. Ok, that part doesn’t sound so bad, except for the fact that Democrats get unbridled control, and that’s how we got Obamacare.

So, since we’re fucked anyway, you might as well vote on principle. Vote for Gary Johnson (who could actually affect the outcome of the election). Or Jill Stein. Or Deez Nuts. Or wipe your ass with your ballot (especially in Ohio, where the Secretary of State tried to keep my candidate off the ballot (which was the one thing that would have gotten me to vote for Hillary), so fuck you Jon Husted). Or if you absolutely have to pull the lever for one of the idiots the two parties have stuck us with, vote for the corrupt status quo in Hillary.

Either way, liquor and gun sales are the place to be, since they’re bound to rise after the November Screw Job.

(note: if anyone would like to try to defend either of the major party candidates, lay out the reasons for voting FOR them in the comments, and we’ll discuss substance, since the candidates themselves can’t seem to stop namecalling long enough to do it.)

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The Country is Officially F**ked

There’s no nicer way to say it. With Ted Cruz now out of the race, the GOP’s nominee is actual human shit, comparable to nominating a Kardashislut or any celebutard.

On the Democrat side, this means the godawfully corrupt Hillary Clinton, who is limping to the finish, will be the next POTUS. Joy. All the Clinton bad stuff without the affable personality and inevitable dick jokes (although it would be fun to see Bill in drag as the First Lady <insert trans bathroom joke>).

So let me just say this, with all the vigor I did last night when I was watching TV and got interrupted by the ticker telling me the country is officially fucked.

Fuck the GOP! Let it die in a fire! And I mean go the way of the fucking Whigs.

The eventual acceptance of the Shitbag as a nominee has only galvanized my decision to write off returning to the GOP from the land of libertarianism. In fact, it has never been more apparent that the two-party system, with the quadrennial race to the bottom for the shittiest candidate, is only going to produce more shit. In face, I miss the days of deciding between a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

So the GOP, in going with the worst again, has not only succeeded in showing they’re incresingly clueless, but they have ensured that Democrats will reign for the next 2-4 years.

I, for my part, will post a pic when I put a Hillary sign in my yard as protest.

Posted in Current Events, Politics | 1 Comment

On Rubio and Cruz, the GOP, and “National Defense”

While reading through my twitter feed about the most recent (and pointless) GOP debate, I spotted a quote from Marco Rubio defining conservative, specifically: “conservatism is about limited government, free enterprise, and a strong national defense.”

Knowing what I know aboot Rubio’s position when it comes to “national defense”, as well as some things aboot Cruz (there are no other viable candidates except the asshat with the stupid hair who can go fuck himself), I’m suspecting there’s a disconnect between the “defense” and the limited government. And I’ll also explain why I won’t support either candidate.

First, a little explanation is in order about my view of foreign policy. We have been getting into shit with Islamic countries as far back as I can remember. As in when I was 6, and the Iranian hostage crisis was leading the national news every night (back when people actually watched it because no internet).  As I learned much later, this was a response to our governments continued efforts to prop up a corrupt dictator that was friendly to us, who the Iranian people (and the extremists leading them) overthrew. (I know this is simplifying it a bit, but it’s easier to spot a pattern this way.

Iraq. We supported the asshole Saddam Hussein, so as to stop those “evil” bastards in Iran. Then Saddam became inconvenient, by which I mean he decided to invade one of our non-asshole allies. So after smacking his dick in the dirt (and bombing his military back to the stone age), we then deposed him hoping to put in a friendly regime. Now a large part of the country hates us, a good portion like Iran, and a segment happens to be todays GOP “scare the shit out of America” acronym, ISIS.

Afghanistan. After we laughed as the Soviets Union was driven the hell out by freedom fighters we supported (AKA the Taliban nowadays), their government decided to be bigger dicks than the Soviets, including destroying ancient wonders in the name of their perversion if Islam, as well as being a safe haven for terrorists including the goat-raper Osama Bin Laden. After 9/11, it was kill time. So we went to Afghanistan, blew up the Taliban, and put in a relatively friendly government. 16 years later… fuck me sideways, we’re still there, and the ol’ Taliban is coming back.

As for Osama, his reason to wage jihad was our continued occupation of the holy land (that shitstain known as Saudi Arabia).

Do you see the pattern? We go into countries. We piss off the people. We topple governments. We “assist” them in free elections which generally result in friendly regimes. And then shit goes to shit in a shitbasket (it’s a lot of shit).

So when I see Rubio and Cruz both advocating starting shit with Iran immediately (since we only signed a treaty to prevent MOAR WARZ PLZ, and a call to build up our military again (in a post-Cold War world where there is no real enemy to challenge us to a game of Mutually Assured Destruction (Russia is a hot mess, China is too tied to us economically, and everyone else is either an ally or a grease stain compared to us right now), I don’t see a point. Plus, both candidates want to scream about the evils of “radical Islam” and how we have to defeat an idea (which can’t really be done, especially when the idea is fed my our constant intervention in every part of the world). Rubio wants to “Undo the damage caused by sequestration by returning to Secretary Gates’ fiscal year 2012 budget baseline,” because limiting the size and scope of an out of control government budget takes a backseat to building the war machine to surpass the next 8, 9, or 10 countries (currently the next 7). And Cruz crows on about “Two terms of the disastrous Obama-Clinton foreign policy have had one useful effect: we now know what the world starts to look like without America,” forgetting that most of what Obama and Clinton did was a continuation of the Bush-Cheney doctrine (only stupider), and Clinton herself is as much a war hawk as Rubio and Cruz (just ask Libya).

Both of their sites essentially declare that we need to grow the military, attack more people, and start more shit, all in the name of “national defense.” They talk about American exceptionalism, as though what freedoms we have also gives us the right to impose our values at the point of a gun on any nation that gets out of line.

(To clarify, I’m not saying our country isn’t great in many ways that most countries aren’t. But our personal freedoms are under attack from the relentless creep of government, and we don’t even crack the top 10 in economic freedom anymore. So when the term “exceptionalism” gets thrown out, it tends to almost smack of the pulpit: less a statement of how we adhere to principles of liberty, and more a mindless chunk of dogma thrown out like much of the political red meat.)

So when I see the leading candidates of the GOP are both war-hungry, and willing to commit us to endless war to try to end an enemy that can’t be defeated by bombing them (because the bombing creates more of them), and continue with the same doctrine that has been failing for decades (the Iranian hostage crisis was over 35 years ago), and are willing to endlessly grow a part of the government to do it, I know I can’t support either of them.


(One additional side note: I found this additional piece on Marco Rubio’s site, while looking into his national security plan: “Empower our intelligence community by permanently extending Section 215 of the Patriot Act.” This is the same section that was used by the Government (mainly the NSA) to spy on the American people, asking us to give up our essential liberty for temporary security. To that, Mr Rubio, I say fuck you sir. Fuck you).

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On the Departure of Rand Paul

A day after it broke as news (because I’m always behind (heh, heh)), I found out that Rand Paul had called it quits after his less-than-his-principled-father crappy showing in Iowa.  This brings a few thoughts into my head that must be shared.

First, Rand’s campaign was looked at as the libertarian alternative to the by-the-book GOP agenda on several social, domestic, war, and budget issues. That Rand appeared to drop some of these positions to try to suck in the GOP base only resulted in him losing his base, as well as many of his father’s supporters who would be willing to support a Ron Paul-lite candidate over the rest of the GOP circus. That Rand failed to understand this and alienated him, then tried to bring it back with less than a month to go alienated enough people. So now, the GOP is essentially in lockstep on their positions. At least Rand will be back in the senate, hopefully fighting the litany of shit in my next point.

Second, here’s the emerging GOP platform as far as I can tell, and my problems with it:

  • MOAR WARZ PLZ – Yes, that’s all misspelled and stupid, but the leading candidates are vying for who can make the most asinine statement about how we should continue prosecuting an perpetual and unwinnable war against an enemy that will keep coming back as long as we are fighting them. Seriously, there seems to be now strategy on how to bring the war to a close, other that “Kill the shit out of the fuckers.” That it hasn’t worked for 15 years, and might only work if you start lobbing nukes and turn the entire Middle East into a giant sheet of glass should be an indicator that we won’t win this. And trying to win that way will piss off even more people, by the way.
  • We will keep you save *cocks gun* – On the homefront, the GOP wants to protect our freedom. Unless it might involve TERRORISTS!!!!. Then, any freedom-boning, hyper-spying, backdoor-building, Big Brother scheme is A-OK. At least you get to keep your guns for when the cops raid you.
  • POLICE! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR! – The issue of criminal justice reform just went out the window, as did ending the evil and immoral war on drugs. Because the ever-expanding mass incarceration for voluntary transactions that the politicians don’t approve of must continue. FOREVER! Because Marijuana is bad, M’kay? Never mind that the states are slowly learning they can give the middle finger to Washington on these issues. The Law is the Law. And I Am THE LAW. Ok, I think I’ve accidentally morphed into Judge Dredd for some reason. I’d better not give the GOP any ideers.
  • Hey he, ho ho, these immigrants have got to go – At some point, some of the leading candidates have voiced some degree of sense on the issue of legal and illegal immigration. Of course, that’s being used against them now, as the cacophony of voices for building walls and catapulting the Mexicans over it grows daily. Of course, considering that the numbers crossing the border now are around a net 0 won’t stop the screaming. Because we have to follow the law, no matter how stupid and immoral the law may be (unless it’s Obamacare, of course). Gotta love hypocrisy. This is how they propose to “solve” problems the immigration system. And if you’re Muslim, well you don’t need to bring your ragheaded, goat-raping ass anywhere near ‘Murica. Fuck yeah!
  • TEH GAYS – Those battles have been lost, but the GOP will still trot out some throwbacks (wacky preachers and the one bastard from Duck Dynasty) designed to alienate all thinking people in the pursuit of people who are already voting for them over the abortion issue. Why not get the Phelps fucks out on the trail for whoever wins the nomination? That’ll show them queers.
  • We want to stop out-of-control spending in Washington. Except… – There’s a lot of war going on out there. War on Islam Terror, War on drugs, War on Spics Illegal Immigration, War on Prostitutes Women Human Trafficking, War on Cops, etc. And that costs money. Never mind that on the defense budget alone we outspend the next 6 or 7 countries combined (and most of them are allies) and that nukes (and free trade) are big deterrents to all-out war (unless you’re Iran, then fuck you). We NEED MORE MONEY FOR THE GOOD FIGHT! Oh, and we’re not going to cut Social Security or Medicare. We’ll reduce the $19 TRILLION in debt by taking on the millions of dollars going to Planned Parenthood, and at least a small amount of the billions Obamacare is costing. And don’t worry about them pesky calculations. Because we’re conservative. And by that, we mean we ain’t changing shit. Except Obamacare. Because Obama.
  • Fuck Obama – Hillary is Obama’s Bitch. You don’t want Obama’s bitch in there too, do you? (*I do agree with this point to a degree, but just because you’re the lesser of 2 evils, you don’t magically become not an evil)

Third, I’m probably voting Libertarian this fall (and definitely in the primaries), as I have already predicted that it will be the lying bitch Hillary Clinton vs Marco Rubio. So here’s Gary Johnson’s site. Give it a peep and see what a good principled candidate looks like. Even if he somehow fails to become the Libertarian Party candidate, it’s at least worth a look at how people disgusted with Team Red’s bullshit (and who will never embrace the fascism/socialism of Team Blue) see the election.

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The 2016 Iowa Caucus Fallout

First of all, this post will not be about my preferences (which may involve, loudspeakers, coal oil and Washington landmarks). This is my cold, hard assessment of what happened in Iowa, my predictions for New Hampshire, and ultimately my prediction for who will be playing in the big Team Red/Team Blue fuckstravaganza in November. And by that, I mean that we’re probably boned in some way no matter who gets elected. So let’s look at who’s going to be the turd sandwich and giant douche this year:


Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders – Technically Hillary did win, but by a thin margin. This means more momentum for Bernie, who will win New Hampshire. Ultimately though, the Dems will probably fall into idiot lockstep behind the lying bitch because I’m not seeing much in the way of principle on that side of the aisle (as for some reason, the Democrats want another Clinton). At least Bernie will beat her up for a few months first. It will give all of us who don’t like liars and socialists something to watch. While eating popcorn.

Ted Cruz – He won, literally. Of course, on the down side, that doesn’t bode well, because the last 2 winners in Iowa were Huck-a-duck and the frothy Santorum (who both weren’t even worth calling losers below). And the woes of GOP Iowa winners goes back further. Let’s all chuckle now.

Marco Rubio – He is probably the biggest winner of the night. He came from behind in the polls to a tight 3rd place finish, which gives him momentum. He’s benefitting directly from the beginning of the fall of the Celebrity Candidate Dickhole (see the first loser). And I’m predicting a win for him in New Hampshire. This gives him enough momentum to rid the death of the loser candidates’ campaigns to an ultimate nomination, because his real rival will be Ted Cruz. And I think he will beat Ted Cruz, simply because he runs the more positive-feeling campaign.

Iowa – Because people not from Iowa gave a shit about their state. (See you in 4 years for the next dong and pony show.)

The United States of America – See the first (and biggest) loser below. Also, NO MORE BUSH!


Rand Paul – Both held on to their polling numbers. I don’t see anything changing, but with candidates dropping, he’s probably the only candidate that’s an alternative to the Cruz/Rubio/Jizzmopper axis. I give him the draw primarily because I’m trying to be positive. But I can’t call him a winner from last night. I’d say this was a blow for the libertarian wing of the GOP, but since Rand kind of forgot to be a libertarian for at least half of 2015….



Donald Assface (who’s name I will not type because he deserves to be purged from politics) – This is the second big crack in the invincible hairpiece armor, after his whiny baby sissy fit where he ran screaming from Megyn Kelly like a little bitch. This fake-ass, self-aggrandizing piece of dog dick is finally starting to slip, because voters are starting to pay attention and are realizing that they’re cheering for a substance-free demagogue who simply represents everything wrong with the GOP. And to be blunt, I have a thousand times more respect for the lying hack Hillary than I do this pseudo-candidate. And I despise Hillary. Thus the namecalling. But his demise shows that we’re not so far gone that this country deserves to die screaming. I’ll probably think differently by November.

Ted Cruz – Because he won. See above. And also, because I think the position of head asshole will probably fall to Cruz once Dickless is out of the race. And from perception of him, he’ll wear it well. People seem to want that “uniter, not a divider” thing, and Rubio, as much as I don’t like him, best embodies that.

Ben Carson – He held the line on his poll numbers. But he has been losing numbers for months. Stick a fork in him. He’s done.

Jeb Bush – Contrary to the Bernie Sanders mantra about the evils of money in politics (which is bullshit), Bush and his allies could not buy their way into the top 5. To put it bluntly, if Jeb were the best sounding candidate of the bunch (and he did have some good answers in the last debate), I still wouldn’t support him, simply because we’ve had enough disappointment from the Bush family (2008, anyone?). Now, if the Dems would stop nominating Clintons….

Bernie Sanders – Because even with progressives jerking off en masse to the sound of his name (I think I heard a bit of it Monday night, carried on the wind), he’s not going to beat the Clinton machine. If he was, he would have done so in Iowa.

The United States of America – Because both parties haven’t imploded from their own stupidity. And because no one will win (except in Washington) with either President Rubio or President Clinton (not the likeable horny one).

Who gives a shit?

Martin O’Malley – Really? Why were you even in the race up to this point? The only reason I didn’t have to look you up was because there were only 3 of you left. And I think you got mentions only out of pity, because all I know aboot you is your name and that you were a mayor or something.

John Kasich, Carly Fiorina, Mike Huckabee, Chris Christie, Rick Santorum and Jim Gilmore – I’m sure a couple of these have already dropped out. The rest will follow. Also, thanks Iowa, for giving Kasich a reason to come back to Ohio sooner. Crap.

Patrick Murray – I’m probably voting Libertarian. Again.

Posted in Politics | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Only Watchable GOP Debate

Being a libertarian (and a former Republican), I have mostly followed the debates for the sheer morbid horror of watching the kabuki theater that is the campaign season. After all, I’ll probably vote third party anyway, and both parties will probably fuck me (just varying on the position and penetrated orifice).

But when a certain cowardly and vile piece of shit decided to baby out because he was too scared of Megyn Kelly, and Ran Paul made the cut, I knew I finally had a reason to watch a GOP debate. Because if Rand wasn’t in it there was no point, and if shitcock was in it, I’d be riding the mute button so I didn’t have to listen to his shit.

So here’s thoughts I had:

First, the GOP is equally shitty any time they go to the social issues, especially abortion. So I’m throwing that shit out, except where I see real divergence. But on warmongering, immigration, civil liberties and a few other non-social issues, there’s enough difference for me to comment.

Second, I’m still waiting for a GOP idea on how to fix immigration. Every answer was the same old “secure the border” bullshit, with lots of fighting over who’s the evil amnesty lover. What was left out was discussion on fixing the broken system for

Third, I so hope Bernie Sanders gets the nod for the Dems, since this eliminates the lying whore Hillary, and will mean the campaign will be more about issues than Benghazi, emails, and Hillary’s support for Bill Clinton’s wandering cock. Plus, everybody was talking about running against Hillary and ignoring Bernie, for the most part.

So for the rest, I’ll take this in poll order, and of course omit dickless the cockhopper, and all the kiddie table candidates who don’t matter.

Ted Cruz: He’s probably #2 on the God vote list, based on his statements. He wants more war (including the carpet bombing thing, which is great for killing civilians), is good on the ethanol mandate, and seems to think everyone is attacking him, since he’s the front-runner on stage and needs to be attacked. His sniping at the moderators was especially annoying, since it seems he’s gone the petty route. Between him and Rubio, he appears to be the bigger asshole.

Marco Rubio: God-Tested, Jesus-approved. At least according to Rubio. He’s awful in every neoconservative way in the perpetual war, wants to fight MOAR WARZ, wants to spend more money to fight war, etc. And did I forget to mention the fact that Jesus Christ was his personal savior? If I wanted a theocrat, I’d get Santorum (the candidate, not the frothy mix) or Huck-a-Duck. Because nobody likes them.

Ben Carson: This was my first chance to really see what he was made of. The answer: a whole lot of ramble. I couldn’t follow shit, because he meandered. And it was more of the awful that we already got. And of all the candidate closing statements, his was the most memorized (because I, too, memorized the preamble to the Constitution).

Jeb Bush: I was a bit more impressed with a few of his answers, especially on immigration. But he still defends his brother (understandably). And being another fucking Bush is enough for me to say no.

Chris Christie: The 9/11-waving thugocracy candidate. I was already annoyed from the beginning, so most of his talking was drowned out by me making Fat Bastard and Mr Creosote references. Generally awful on everything, so I’m not going to wast space.

Rand Paul: The only candidate that’s close enough to my worldview to consider voting for (as I am currently registered as a Libertarian). When he was on civil liberties and the immoral and evil war on drugs, I cheered.He was the best when he said anything about the perpetual war (he was a little sloppy on the Syria question, but the bar was almost as low as than nun-fister at the top of the polls), and he was the most cringe-worthy of them all on the abortion question. I’d say he won, but everyone says their candidate won. Se’ll find out on Monday if he really won.

John Kasich: Hey, it’s my governor. He didn’t answer shit, said that they’d deal with the backdoor into electronics in a room in the White House, and channeled Larry the Cable Guy when it was time for him to git ‘er done. I know he’ll lose and come back to Ohio. If any other state wants him though, you can have him.

So overall, I think the Libertarian party ticket is looking better and better, although Rand Paul could convince me to come back to the GOP.  I guess we have nine more months of this shit. Maybe when we get to the general election debates, I’ll get a drinking game going while watching, see if I can MDK my liver. I have to do something to make it suck less, right?

Posted in Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged

Everything is Really About Property Rights

I’ve been reading the latest back-and-forth exchanges over gun rights and safety in the wake of the latest mass shooting hoopla brought to us by the perpetual news organizations (24-hour news channels and the Internet), and one fact stands out: Everyone manages to miss the mark in coming up with a trump card argument.

(note 1: the hoopla refers to the media circus and not the actual shooting. Suffice it to say the pain/loss/etc is real and those directly affected have my sympathy).

(note 2: a trump card has nothing to do with that pair of fucking clown shoes leading the GOP at the moment. Let’s not make that joke, like he is.)

The overriding argument comes down to property rights.

This argument applies whether we’re talking about guns, property, a toaster oven, a spatula, and so on. Because all of these things are, in fact, things. Quantifiable objects in some sense. Stuff.

And property, by its nature, is that which you have acquired by the use of your time and your skills. It’s something you’ve earned. Pieces of your life, converted to a solid form.

That brings us to a simple question: Do people have the right to own things?

For a libertarian, the answer is easy: YES!

From there, it really goes downhill. There are people that would say yes, but people should have (fill in the blank), because (excuse citing safety, morality, “common sense”).

At the other end is the collectivist, who espouses that no one owns anything. I’m guessing they either believe their own bullshit, or just vomit it out before curling up with their prized non-possessions.

Ultimately, if you’re not deluded and you’re not an absolutist libertarian, then you believe people have property rights, except…. So that leaves the next question: How do you enforce the list of prohibited items (whether it’s guns or drugs, raw milk or dildos)? Are you going to ask nicely and hope everyone complies? Are you going to pass laws and hand out fines? Or are you going to send in armed men with lots of guns to take out the person that won’t comply (that would be me) with your demand that they give up something that is theirs.

And yes, that means I believe that everyone has the natural right to own anything, with the exception being those who violate the rights of others (and therefore sacrifice a portion of their rights).

It comes down to what you believe freedom is. Is freedom, and the rights that define them, an absolute (with the only limitation being that you can’t directly violate the rights of another in exercising yours), or is freedom something that is meted out and determined by others who decide what rights you have, and therefore not freedom?

Posted in Current Events, Philosophy

Why Birthright Citizenship is Good (other than it’s also in the 14th Amendment)

In the rush to build the biggest wall on the Mexican border, the GOP candidates and much of the party have lost sight of the nature of this country. Simply put, we are a nation of immigrants. With the exception of some natives (who may have immigrated when there was a land bridge where the Bering Strait currently flows), all of us can trace our roots to another country, whether we came willingly or not. And the freedom to come here has always been what has allowed us to grow stronger.

Of course, there were always those who found specific nationalities to single out as undesirable (a quick search found the Chinese and Irish as targets, and that’s only scratching the surface). Today it’s the Mexicans and Muslims.

Muslims are unwanted mainly due to the futile War on Terror (more on that later), so I’ll leave them out of this one and deal with everyone south of the border (and north of it due to illegal immigration). And without getting into the ludicrous nature of our immigration system (which encourages ignoring the law since legal entry is a joke), let’s address why people are all ready to throw the anchor babies out with the bathwater.

Welfare, welfare, welfare. Essentially, the concern is that immigrants come to this country to drop babies and sponge off the system. So first, let’s go to research from the Cato Institute for starters.  I found some conflicting numbers which indicate that immigrants use a large portion of welfare benefits. It appears that those are the legal ones. The Illegal ones don’t. It also seems they pay in taxes.

Plus, consider the jobs that people come into this country illegally to do. These are not the kinds of jobs that people who seek to sponge off the system do.

In the end, it comes down to the principle of freedom of movement; people should, with the bare minimum of interference, be able to cross borders. 9/11 does not change the principle, nor justify the insanity known as the TSA. And to that end, our immigration policy should be open as possible, welcoming all but known criminals and confirmed terrorists. And they should be welcomed as additions to a vibrant economy, not a drain on an overbearing welfare system.

And if you want to solve the problem of anchor babies being used to get welfare, try eliminating the welfare instead of the babies (insert pro-life reference)….

Posted in Current Events, Politics